Population | 10.681 billion |
Capital | The Pasture |
Leader | Bad Bessie |
Currency | Helping Hands |
Animal | Handsy Human |
The Oppressed Peoples of Next Meal is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bad Bessie with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, fear of technology, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.681 billion Next Mealians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, although Industry, Healthcare, and Environment are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Pasture. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.
The frighteningly efficient Next Mealian economy, worth a remarkable 3,671 trillion Helping Hands a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Retail, Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 343,711 Helping Hands, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
Nobody is forced to join the armed forces, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny, scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished, and protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Next Meal's national animal is the Handsy Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course.
Next Meal is ranked 14,773rd in the world and 113th in 10000 Islands for Most Stationary, with 1,791.63147141068 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, nobody is forced to join the armed forces.
- : Next Meal was reclassified from "Psychotic Dictatorship" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, Next Meal's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, the nation's wilderness is only teenage wasteland.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, newspapers print only headlines.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, the government-run newspapers insist that everything is fine.
- : Following new legislation in Next Meal, groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety'.