The Fascist Ethnostate of New Shmoolandia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the SSHA Upper Directorate with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, avowedly heterosexual populace, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 17.255 billion New Shmoolandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stahlberg unter der Öde. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.9%.

The frighteningly efficient New Shmoolandian economy, worth a remarkable 5,667 trillion NSDS a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 328,475 NSDS, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,677,481 per year while the poor average 35,407, a ratio of 47.4 to 1.

Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, bilingual New Shmoolandians are viewed with suspicion, murder rates are on the rise as the popularity of soylent products grows, and medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Shmoolandia's national animal is the two-headed eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Blood and Soil.

New Shmoolandia is ranked 3,430^th in the world and 2^nd in Union of Technocratic Socialist States for Lowest Crime Rates, with 126.34 law-abiding acts per hour.