The Holy Empire of New New New Alabama is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by William Williams with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.437 billion New New New Alabamans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New Montgomery. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 79.4%.

The frighteningly efficient New New New Alabaman economy, worth a remarkable 1,385 trillion Stepsisters a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 186,319 Stepsisters, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 644,730 per year while the poor average 39,344, a ratio of 16.4 to 1.

The sun rises an hour later on border communities, agricultural science is the most competitive subject at universities, singles on the dating scene no longer worry about looking their age, and commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New New New Alabama's national animal is the Fried Chicken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jesus.

New New New Alabama is ranked 311,522^nd in the world and 5,827^th in The North Pacific for Most Secular, with 1.46 Atheism Rate.