by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 1,716th Most Rebellious Youth: 1,822nd Most Cheerful Citizens: 2,665th
The Pining Martens of
Civil Rights Lovefest Nation-Hating Hippies
Hey, why's everyone pining for martens?
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population13.568 billion

CapitalPoppaea Maxima


The Pining Martens of Nakarisaune is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, otherworldly petting zoo, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.568 billion adorable mustelids hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poppaea Maxima. The average income tax rate is 80.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Nakarisaunean economy, worth a remarkable 1,516 trillion hyenas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Book Publishing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 111,778 hyenas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned, tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments, diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm, and fake designer clothes are shredded and burnt while many in the world don't have a shirt on their back. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Nakarisaune's national animal is the aardvark, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nakarisaune is ranked 8,689th in the world and 289th in the South Pacific for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 78.65 Workforce Participation Rate.

Largest Welfare Programs: 1,716thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,822ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,665thLargest Black Market: 2,800thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,050thHighest Crime Rates: 3,569thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,757thNicest Citizens: 5,018thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,272ndMost Advanced Public Education: 5,473rdMost Politically Free: 5,764thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,329thHighest Drug Use: 6,491stMost Cultured: 7,216thHighest Economic Output: 7,943rdTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,689thHealthiest Citizens: 9,318thSmartest Citizens: 10,062ndMost Influential: 10,415thLargest Populations: 10,758thMost Pacifist: 11,020thNudest: 11,252ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,637thLongest Average Lifespans: 12,287thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,797thMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,530thMost Beautiful Environments: 14,673rdLargest Gambling Industry: 15,153rdMost Developed: 15,418thMost Inclusive: 15,865th
Most Rebellious Youth: 37th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 42nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 48th in the regionTop
Most Cheerful Citizens: 72nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 77th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 82nd in the regionMost Politically Free: 84th in the regionLargest Populations: 90th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 122nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 132nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 138th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 154th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 173rd in the regionNicest Citizens: 175th in the regionMost Cultured: 206th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 232nd in the regionNudest: 261st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 288th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 289th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 290th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 303rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 304th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 306th in the regionTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 401st in the regionMost Pacifist: 414th in the regionLargest Governments: 428th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 437th in the regionMost Developed: 465th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 504th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 535th in the regionMost Inclusive: 560th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 580th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 583rd in the regionMost Secular: 584th in the regionBest Weather: 598th in the regionMost Influential: 621st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 636th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 643rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 656th in the region

National Happenings

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