The Civilisation Game of Mastodonia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Shepard Blaine with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.61 billion Mastodonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Mastodonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,796 trillion Postagestamps a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 208,643 Postagestamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation, the education system is being cleansed of all corporate influence, students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic, and even secular Mastodonians are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mastodonia's national animal is the mastodon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Project Pope.

Mastodonia is ranked 267,970^th in the world and 1,319^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Retail Industry, scoring -42.9 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.