The Republic of Lauff Blonttopia is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-working, cynical population of 9.676 billion Lauff Blonttopians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 15.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Lauff Blonttopian economy, worth 513 trillion francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is 53,108 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign musicians that Leader dislikes are turned away at the border, complaining about Christmas music in October is a ho-ho-horrendous crime, every workday begins with group therapy, and the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lauff Blonttopia's national animal is the dolphin, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Lauff Blonttopia is ranked 187,542^nd in the world and 8,248^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 57.8 law-abiding acts per hour.