by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,350thBest Weather: 1,637thLowest Crime Rates: 1,913th
The Galactic Empire of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Liberal Dictatorship
We will rock you
General Sebastian Bohnhead
Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kohnhead

Population4.44 billion

CapitalKohnhead City
LeaderGeneral Sebastian Bohnhead
FaithKohnheadism

CurrencyKohnheada
AnimalPanda

The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, rampant corporate plagiarism, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 4.44 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth 641 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 144,572 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, and personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 169,824th in the world and 680th in 10000 Islands for Largest Black Market, with 74.8 billion Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,350thBest Weather: 1,637thLowest Crime Rates: 1,913thTop
5%
Safest: 2,768thHealthiest Citizens: 3,045thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,178thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,293rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,585thLargest Welfare Programs: 4,032ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,369thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,556thLargest Governments: 4,752ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,895thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,922ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,945thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,476thNicest Citizens: 6,035thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,318thMost Pacifist: 6,727thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,134thMost Developed: 8,296thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,751stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,807thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,919thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,072ndTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12,470thMost Inclusive: 14,954thHighest Average Incomes: 15,327thSmartest Citizens: 17,836thMost Efficient Economies: 19,139thMost Secular: 19,223rdMost Influential: 20,005thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,463rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,808th
Top
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 19th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 32nd in the regionBest Weather: 38th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 51st in the regionSafest: 51st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 54th in the regionTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 63rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 66th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 67th in the regionLargest Governments: 68th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 69th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 72nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 73rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 73rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 77th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 84th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 91st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 100th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 103rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 116th in the regionNicest Citizens: 122nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kohnhead lodged a message on the 10000 Islands Regional Message Board.
  • : Kohnhead published "10000 Islands' Featured Nation 22/2/21 - Porflox" (Bulletin: News).
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, Kohnheadians seem to be catching more chills.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, Kohnhead recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, acrimonious legal battles result during divorce proceedings.

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