The Holy Empire of Hakkelujah is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Not You with an iron fist, and remarkable for its daily referendums, enslaved workforce, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 11.264 billion Hakkelujahians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Where The Sun Doesn't Shine. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.7%.

The strong Hakkelujahian economy, worth 632 trillion Hugs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Cheese Exports, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 56,144 Hugs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 166,382 per year while the poor average 14,874, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

Professional athletes juggle part-time jobs to avoid bankruptcy, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Hakkelujahian Embarrassments, and prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hakkelujah's national animal is the Dove, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Hakkemius.

Hakkelujah is ranked 244,550^th in the world and 5^th in The Hakketomatian Commonwealth for Most Beautiful Environments, with 287.5 pounds of wildlife per square mile.