by Max Barry

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Most Armed: 4,564thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,214thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,781st
The Grasslands of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
Coup de Grāce
The Great Herbivore
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Great Goatee

Population1.225 billion

CapitalGreen Valley
LeaderThe Great Herbivore
FaithThe Sacred Leaf

CurrencyGrass Knot
AnimalMountain Goat

The Grasslands of Great Goatee is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by The Great Herbivore with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, prohibition of alcohol, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.225 billion Goatees are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Green Valley. The average income tax rate is 56.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Goatian economy, worth 130 trillion Grass Knots a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 106,328 Grass Knots, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Great Herbivore has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences, death row inmates cower in fear at the phrase "one-year anniversary", The Great Herbivore is the self-declared God of all Great Goatee, and barbers who trim a few inches of hair bill the government for their labor. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Great Goatee's national animal is the Mountain Goat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is The Sacred Leaf.

Great Goatee is ranked 139,252nd in the world and 57th in The Wolf Clan for Largest Populations, with 1.23 billion Capita.

Most Armed: 4,564thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,214thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,781stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9,909thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,753rdTop
Most Authoritarian: 12,376thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 13,215thLargest Mining Sector: 14,872ndHighest Poor Incomes: 15,836thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,751stMost Corrupt Governments: 18,560thMost Developed: 19,271stMost Conservative: 20,926thLargest Black Market: 21,642ndLongest Average Lifespans: 23,125th
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 13th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 13th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » The God of Hmmm and Hipsters With Airpods.

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