The Cup of Tea of Grand Miltonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 32.275 billion Grand Miltonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Grand Miltonian economy, worth an astonishing 10,800 trillion CCUS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Soda Sales, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 334,654 CCUS, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,121,348 per year while the poor average 3,178, a ratio of 982 to 1.

Sports club owners are having a moneyball, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation, stray dogs and children root through the trash for snacks, and small towns have started burning historical buildings in hopes of attracting tourists. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Grand Miltonia's national animal is the Sea Squirt, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Grand Miltonia is ranked 294,414^th in the world and 28^th in Taijitu for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.15 law-abiding acts per hour.