The Republic of Free Kolechia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by President Safadi with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 22.442 billion Kolechians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kashgar. The average income tax rate is 50.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Kolechian economy, worth a remarkable 1,254 trillion Naxars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 55,911 Naxars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis, signs saying "No Poor People or Weirdoes" are common outside shops and cafés, and the 'sing-a-long with President Safadi' album is a popular souvenir. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Kolechia's national animal is the Snow Leopard and its national religion is Islam and Kolechian Orthodox.

Free Kolechia is ranked 125,059^th in the world and 65^th in Greater Dienstad for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.21 law-abiding acts per hour.