by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,702ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,087thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,479th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Anarchy Lawless Wasteland
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.797 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, national health service, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.797 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,564 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 11,542nd in the world and 54th in Europeia for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 375,256 Standard Monetary Units.

Highest Drug Use: 1,702ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,087thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,479thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,631stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,329thMost Efficient Economies: 4,453rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,646thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,843rdMost Stationary: 4,844thHighest Economic Output: 6,031stMost Cultured: 6,388thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,210thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,390thSmartest Citizens: 8,466thHighest Average Incomes: 9,939thNudest: 10,028thMost Influential: 10,181stLargest Gambling Industry: 10,183rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,299thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,542ndTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,381stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,888thMost Developed: 14,901stMost Politically Free: 15,534thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,536thLargest Populations: 16,792ndMost Advanced Public Education: 17,603rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,750thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,437thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,838thMost Extreme: 22,697thMost Inclusive: 22,854thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,174th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 9th in the regionMost Politically Free: 9th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionMost Extreme: 23rd in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 28th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 28th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 34th in the regionTop
Most Pro-Market: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionFattest Citizens: 46th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 54th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 54th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 55th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 56th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 56th in the regionLargest Populations: 61st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 62nd in the regionMost Armed: 64th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 70th in the region

National Happenings

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