by Max Barry

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Most Avoided: 1st Most Corrupt Governments: 1st Largest Mining Sector: 7th
The Exalted Supremacy of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
Crush Their Spirits and You Will Control Their Minds
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

East Borland

Population33.83 billion

CapitalThe Lair
LeaderHis Supreme Eminence

AnimalGila Monster

The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Supreme Eminence with an iron fist, and notable for its enslaved workforce, anti-smoking policies, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 33.83 billion East Borlandists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Lair. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient East Borlandian economy, worth an astonishing 28,381 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 838,944 Slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,669,230 per year while the poor average 45,912, a ratio of 123 to 1.

Children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job', the secret ingredient is love (and MSG), historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism, and it is illegal to liberate slaves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. East Borland's national animal is the Gila Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oppression.

East Borland is ranked 169,219th in the world and 135th in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Pacifist, with 0.76 Cheeks Turned Per Day.

Most Avoided: 1stMost Corrupt Governments: 1stLargest Mining Sector: 7thLargest Insurance Industry: 8thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8thHighest Disposable Incomes: 11thFattest Citizens: 11thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 12thMost Secular: 14thLargest Agricultural Sector: 16thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16thHighest Average Incomes: 24thHighest Economic Output: 25thLargest Retail Industry: 26thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 30thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 33rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 35thMost Ignorant Citizens: 39thMost Armed: 44thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 59thMost Primitive: 105thRudest Citizens: 140thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 149thMost Efficient Economies: 151stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 191stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 239thLargest Governments: 296thLowest Crime Rates: 456thLargest Populations: 843rdLargest Black Market: 1,079thMost Stationary: 1,316thTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,276thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3,405thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4,216thMost Influential: 6,486thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,954th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Governments: 7th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionMost Influential: 11th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 11th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 11th in the regionLargest Black Market: 12th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, it is illegal to liberate slaves.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, the secret ingredient is love (and MSG).
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job'.
  • : East Borland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Trout Fishing Sector and Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, rabbits are known to spontaneously explode without warning.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, garden flower shows rarely smell of roses.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit.


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