The Federal Republic of Crustoria is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, ubiquitous missile silos, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 2.575 billion Crustorians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 86.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Crustorian economy, worth 331 trillion Crusts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 128,884 Crusts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sex education has become an intricate maze of stick figures and complex metaphors, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, the most popular WhoTube videos are ones featuring parodies of iconic songs, and popular websites like NationStates are blocked for "national security". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crustoria's national animal is the Brotadler, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Crustoria is ranked 303,488^th in the world and 5,555^th in The North Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -8.6 on the Hickory Productivity Index.