The Watchfires of Comrade Eerie is a gargantuan, orderly nation, remarkable for its closed borders, zero percent divorce rate, and public floggings. The cynical population of 23.23 billion Comrade Eerieans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 43.6%.

The thriving Comrade Eeriean economy, worth a remarkable 1,979 trillion $$s a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 85,216 $$s, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 334,123 per year while the poor average 14,785, a ratio of 22.6 to 1.

Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, the experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Dolly Varden Dung" has been declared a national treasure, Comrade Eerie is renowned for its lax gun laws, and in musicals everybody's a little bit racist. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Comrade Eerie's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Comrade Eerie is ranked 112,858^th in the world and 1^st in Comrades for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.37 law-abiding acts per hour.