by Max Barry

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Fattest Citizens: 669th Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 750th Most Avoided: 760th
The Qqfcrumfdsfcjbudebuxdeiubdcf of
Corporate Police State Entrepreneurial Freedom Zone
Racism is Whack
Default Skin
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Captain Lard

Population2.041 billion

CapitalDisney World
LeaderDefault Skin
FaithThe Gospel of Ben Shapiro


The Qqfcrumfdsfcjbudebuxdeiubdcf of Captain Lard is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Default Skin with an iron fist, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, frequent executions, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.041 billion Lardlings are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Disney World. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.3%.

The frighteningly efficient AWESOME economy, worth 498 trillion spittoons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 244,068 spittoons, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,105,747 per year while the poor average 33,055, a ratio of 33.5 to 1.

The nation's student exchange programs are something of a one way street, conspiracy nuts claim that the government is trying to bring about an end to civilisation, bounty hunters have been dispatched to hunt down rogue bounty hunters, and those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Lard's national animal is the Jesus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Gospel of Ben Shapiro.

Captain Lard is ranked 157,819th in the world and 120th in Lardyland for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 50.4 Workforce Participation Rate.

Fattest Citizens: 669thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 750thMost Avoided: 760thLargest Retail Industry: 995thMost Armed: 1,037thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,053rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,067thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,133rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,330thMost Secular: 1,333rdLargest Mining Sector: 1,377thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,449thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,497thTop
Rudest Citizens: 2,298thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,445thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,469thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,948thHighest Average Incomes: 2,954thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,996thHighest Crime Rates: 3,415thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,822ndNudest: 4,030thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,199thMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,718thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,769thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,001stLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,567thLargest Black Market: 6,692ndTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 9,212thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 10,059thMost Efficient Economies: 10,283rdMost Conservative: 12,760thLargest Governments: 15,459thLargest Agricultural Sector: 15,466th
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 4th in the regionNudest: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 5th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionTop
Highest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8th in the regionMost Influential: 10th in the regionMost Developed: 10th in the regionMost Conservative: 11th in the region

National Happenings

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