The Carrisonic empire of Bathelonat is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Imperial Policy Commissioner O'Hearn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, avant-garde cinema, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.141 billion Bathelonatians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cathair as lonat. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Bathelonatian economy, worth 949 trillion Lonates a year, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 184,725 Lonates, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job', soldiers are equipped with multi-million Lonate battlesuits, people accuse the government of being in bed with Big Safety, and televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bathelonat's national animal is the Izzy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Carrisonism.

Bathelonat is ranked 294,292^nd in the world and 370^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 11.75 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.