by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 271stMost Ignorant Citizens: 299thBest Weather: 525th
The Tolerant Left of
Authoritarian Democracy Slightly Oppressive But A Little Discipline Never Hurt Anyone State
I call getting cheese a cakewalk
Joseph R Mama
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population1.063 billion

LeaderJoseph R Mama
Faithreferencing Among Us


The Tolerant Left of Balkede is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Joseph R Mama with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate population of 1.063 billion Balkedans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Balkedesburg. The average income tax rate is 77.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Balkedan economy, worth 50.2 trillion denarii a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 47,266 denarii, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule, extreme political groups are outlawed, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, and slavery has been abolished. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balkede's national animal is the octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is referencing Among Us.

Balkede is ranked 50,829th in the world and 20th in The DankLeft Commune for Most Extreme, scoring 27.13 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Most Primitive: 271stMost Ignorant Citizens: 299thBest Weather: 525thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 2,647thSafest: 3,548thMost Secular: 3,595thLargest Welfare Programs: 3,677thMost Pacifist: 3,955thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,016thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,325thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,403rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,547thNicest Citizens: 6,928thMost Compassionate Citizens: 7,460thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7,504thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,831stMost Income Equality: 8,182ndLowest Crime Rates: 8,975thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9,029thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,997thTop
Most Authoritarian: 15,930thLargest Governments: 16,097thHighest Average Tax Rates: 18,012th
Healthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionTop
Most Pacifist: 4th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionMost Conservative: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Balkede was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Income Equality.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, slavery has been abolished.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, extreme political groups are outlawed.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, high-income earners pay a 100% tax rate.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, shoppers have literally had their hands full since plastic bags were banned.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, some magnifier-wielding Balkedans say Joseph R Mama seems a little lacking in something.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, the "fire department" is often called to remove offensive religious texts.


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