The Free and Happy Republic of Artemizistan is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Happy Man with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, soft-spoken computers, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 13.922 billion Artemizistanis are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Artemis City. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Artemizistani economy, worth a remarkable 4,342 trillion artems a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 311,935 artems, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation is famous for bravely sending wave after wave of its soldiers until the enemy runs out of bullets, human pie shops continue to receive shipments of meat from Spleeny Rodd's, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings, and the military struggles with recruitment. Crime is totally unknown. Artemizistan's national animal is the platypus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Happiness.

Artemizistan is ranked 6,980^th in the world and 2^nd in The Chuckle Playground of Fun and Games for Lowest Crime Rates, with 108.56 law-abiding acts per hour.