The Holy Empire of Apostolites is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Holy Emperor with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, avant-garde cinema, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.21 billion Apostolites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megas Solomon. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Apostolitesian economy, worth an astonishing 12,230 trillion ichthys a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 671,662 ichthys, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Military instructors tire of being asked for another bedtime story by seven-year-old conscripts, Apostolitesian soldiers are assured their new ray-guns will finally power up after the next round of ominous chanting, migrating birds in the nation's airspace are considered a violation of national sovereignty, and foreign governments are looking into weaponizing the infamous Apostolitesian bee. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apostolites's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Holy Emperor's Word.

Apostolites is ranked 315,109^th in the world and 2^nd in Holy Imperial Hegemony for Nudest, with 0.5 cheeks per square mile.