The Gilded Lands of Alamei is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Eliana Marchesi with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 11.58 billion Alameians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lockwood. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Alameian economy, worth a remarkable 2,635 trillion Norrels a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 227,601 Norrels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year, saying "don't do anything that Eliana Marchesi wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, skateparks can be found in every city, and Lockwood's main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight. Crime is totally unknown. Alamei's national animal is the deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Alamei is ranked 918^th in the world and 33^rd in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 5,098.47 on the Clooney Contribution Index.