The Commonwealth of Zosniabar is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Murphy Allgood with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, aversion to nipples, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.277 billion Zosniabarians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Broadside. The average income tax rate is 67.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zosniabarian economy, worth 219 trillion hustecs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 171,746 hustecs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wigged-out hunters report playing croquet with the Queen of Hearts, vaccinations are mandatory, garden flower shows rarely smell of roses, and unemployed accountants keep double-entry ledgers of their benefit claims. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zosniabar's national animal is the crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Cult of the Chair.

Zosniabar is ranked 15,411^th in the world and 7^th in Thaecia for Most Patriotic, with 53.49 flags saluted per person per day.