The Principality of Tessurum is a very large, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, restrictive gun laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 139 million Tessurumians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 30.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Tessurumian economy, worth 7.87 trillion drachmas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 56,628 drachmas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them, nudity is frowned upon, copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper, and the statue in the Cumberbatch Plaza has a solar panel for a hat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Tessurum's national animal is the crocodile, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Tessurum is ranked 100,069^th in the world and 3,102^nd in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.