The United Socialist States of Svordovia is a huge, safe nation, notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 548 million Svordovians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Svorgrad. The average income tax rate is 74.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Svordovian economy, worth 46.6 trillion rupiahs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 85,000 rupiahs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

School football matches are usually five-a-side, everyone has the equal opportunity to have their wallet stolen, old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime, and rural Svordovians stare in awe at the bright lights of the big cities. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Svordovia's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Svordovia is ranked 49,285^th in the world and 287^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Patriotic, with 27.83 flags saluted per person per day.