The Theocracy of Samslvania is a large, safe nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 82 million Samslvanians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny government is dominated by the Department of Spirituality, with Law & Order and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 7.4%.

The strong Samslvanian economy, worth 5.33 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 65,035 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Most ambassadors from Samslvania retire only a few years after being appointed, matryoshka dolls resembling nested Death Stars are commonly sold, abortions are carried out secretly in shady backstreet clinics, and the police strictly enforce off-limit zones for tourists. Crime is almost non-existent. Samslvania's national animal is the Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Samslvania is ranked 62,802^nd in the world and 52^nd in Right to Life for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 51.48 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.