The Kingdom of Quoph is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Biscuiteen Trisket with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 14.573 billion Quophites enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Biscuitburg. The average income tax rate is 83.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Quophish economy, worth a remarkable 1,028 trillion Chilis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Book Publishing and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 70,590 Chilis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc, the Quophish Intelligence Agency relies on rumour and guidebooks to know what is happening overseas, contestants on Quoph's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent, and Quophites incessantly needle their doctors for relief. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Quoph's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Quoph is ranked 228,904^th in the world and 5,174^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 48.04 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.