The Colony of Ptopia is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Poggers with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 2.33 billion Ptopians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of POG. The average income tax rate is 61.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Ptopian economy, worth 81.8 trillion marks a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 35,122 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations, Ptopian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests, cheese lovers have a case of the bleus, and popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ptopia's national animal is the ostrich, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ptopia is ranked 43,440^th in the world and 13^th in Merciam for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 699.48 on the Clooney Contribution Index.