The Free Land of Protectistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, daily referendums, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, democratic population of 10.166 billion Protectistanis enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 49.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Protectistani economy, worth a remarkable 1,318 trillion dogecoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 129,707 dogecoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, chalkboards are replaced with billboards in the classroom, the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard, and the government regrets to say that it is forced to make cuts to citizens. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Protectistan's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Protectistan is ranked 21,693^rd in the world and 1,226^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 89 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.