The People's Republic of Portland is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ted Wheeler with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, humorless population of 32.188 billion Portlanders are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of West Hills. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Portlandite economy, worth a remarkable 5,716 trillion spare changes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 177,588 spare changes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The banshee wail foretells skies of death, grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly, one can wake up in Portland and have breakfast in Bigtopia, and the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. Crime is totally unknown. Portland's national animal is the TriMet, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Portland is ranked 3,252^nd in the world and 1^st in Oregon for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 3,355.56 on the Clooney Contribution Index.