The Republic of Poland1st is a massive, safe nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 1.217 billion Poland1stians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 71.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Poland1stian economy, worth 25.8 trillion złoties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 21,207 złoties, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Poland1st has designated Poland1st City as its capital city, the government has pinkie-promised never to use its veto power except in an emergency, Leader has just been declared ruler of Poland1st in an international press conference, and the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Poland1st's national animal is the Bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Poland1st is ranked 75,288^th in the world and 124^th in Commonwealth of Liberty for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.99 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.