The Théodoriste Kingdom of Non-French is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by His Holiness King Théodore l'immortel with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, aversion to nipples, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.297 billion Non-Frenchians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Negaris. The average income tax rate is 75.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Non-Frenchian economy, worth 576 trillion Theodies a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 134,163 Theodies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Rupert Bear is considered to be the most risqué TV programme in Non-French, it's illegal to be caught on tape, in the pink ghetto (on the cold and grey Negaris morn) women promise no child will be born, and politicians ponder for at least a minute when asked if they would like sugar in their tea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Non-French's national animal is the Flightless Cock, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Théodorisme.

Non-French is ranked 266,154^th in the world and 169^th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 40.53 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.