The Federated State of Mairland is a colossal, genial nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory vegetarianism, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 5.26 billion Mairish have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lochdarleck. The average income tax rate is 41.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Mairish economy, worth 200 trillion Marks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 38,048 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Civil servants spend most their time carrying out risk assessments for paper cuts, putting a mustache on a banknote is considered defacing a national monument, science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, and imitation is the sincerest form of felony. Crime is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mairland's national animal is the Cormorant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Mairland is ranked 214,983^rd in the world and 129^th in The Western Isles for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 49.01 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.