The Republic of Longingland is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Nikolai Rasmussen with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 7.142 billion Longwegians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammerhal. The average income tax rate is 69.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Longwegian economy, worth 708 trillion Kronor a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is 99,186 Kronor, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Longingland's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of the United.

Longingland is ranked 260,771^st in the world and 163^rd in Forest for Fattest Citizens, with 7.01 Obesity Rate.