The Free Land of Lacenland is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Fannilius Slamson with a fair hand, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.881 billion Lacenlandians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amcester. The average income tax rate is 76.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Lacenlandian economy, worth 127 trillion sticks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is 44,295 sticks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Even secular Lacenlandians are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!", Fannilius Slamson is frequently seen begging critics to stop insulting the government, politicians who misplace decimal points on expense reports are fired for gross incompetence, and the entirety of Fannilius Slamson's administration can be crammed into a phone booth. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lacenland's national animal is the panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lacenland is ranked 11,103^rd in the world and 3^rd in Oceania for Safest, scoring 119.83 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.