The Grand Duchy of Kaleateinland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Duke Gerard the second with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, zero percent divorce rate, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, devout population of 2.787 billion Kaleateinians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Barlonce. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kaleateinlandian economy, worth 320 trillion Poarks a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 114,865 Poarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, census workers are having a hard time figuring out who is actually living in Kaleateinland after the ban on emigration was lifted, school history books often refer to Duke Gerard the second as "that imperialist pig dog", and soldiers are "encouraged" to advance by armed officers behind them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kaleateinland's national animal is the Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Monotheism.

Kaleateinland is ranked 31,035^th in the world and 17^th in Talonia for Most Patriotic, with 37.74 flags saluted per person per day.