The Maritime Squatters' Republic of JonesIsland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Captain Jakub Muza with an iron fist, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 12.158 billion Jones Islanders are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nukaszuby. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Jones Island economy, worth 934 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 76,844 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nobody ever questions the unquestioned rule that questions must always be asked, it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away", discarded pennies litter the streets, and family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. JonesIsland's national animal is the sturgeon, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

JonesIsland is ranked 52,232^nd in the world and 1,247^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Patriotic, with 26.58 flags saluted per person per day.