The Subsidized Union of Jermi is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by J with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, aversion to nipples, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.47 billion Jermen are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jeinburg. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jermian economy, worth a remarkable 1,421 trillion Mincoes a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 259,874 Mincoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

This year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, new pests have been imported into Jermi, belief that J is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high, and mandatory state-funded classes teach Libertarianism. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Jermi's national animal is the dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Lunaism.

Jermi is ranked 273,132^nd in the world and 108^th in Palatine for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 36.67 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.