The Superior Oppressive Monarchy of Heldervin is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Lord Chaburteen XIV with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, smutty television, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.234 billion Heldervinians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vrebsicourg. The average income tax rate is 86.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Heldervinian economy, worth 129 trillion Helds a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 105,036 Helds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists, alcoholics are lauded as national benefactors within the halls of the Ministry of Finance, baseball caps are the new fashion trend, and visiting the best Heldervinian restaurants requires keeping a visa on file. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heldervin's national animal is the helderbu, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Saletrism.

Heldervin is ranked 32,182^nd in the world and 88^th in Wintreath for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 878.58 on the Clooney Contribution Index.