The Empire of Haufenreich is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its frequent executions, prohibition of alcohol, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 503 million Haufenreichians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Angelfeld. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.4%.

The powerhouse Haufenreichian economy, worth 37.6 trillion Shields a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. Average income is 74,746 Shields, with the richest citizens earning 9.8 times as much as the poorest.

The Great Haufenreichian Desert is reputedly the most uninhabitable place in the region, soldiers are "encouraged" to advance by armed officers behind them, anything is permissible when wearing latex gloves, and the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Haufenreich's national animal is the Whitetail Deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Haufenreich is ranked 54,963^rd in the world and 3,025^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 71 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.