The United Socialist States of Grandvia is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory vegetarianism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 291 million Grandvians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 72.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Grandvian economy, worth 5.92 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. Average income is 20,355 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Running away is an essential part of the elite forces' hand-to-hand training, Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Grandvia, the intelligence community is playing 4-D chess with an imaginary spy network, and male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grandvia's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Grandvia is ranked 45,506^th in the world and 286^th in Europe for Most Patriotic, with 29.53 flags saluted per person per day.