The Dictatorship of Goulagistannie is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by The Great Goulagist with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.359 billion Goulagistannieans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Goulag. The average income tax rate is 50.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Goulagistanniean economy, worth 313 trillion Goulagstanniean dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 133,059 Goulagstanniean dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Millions of Goulagistannieans are excellent swimmers, family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off, military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft, and the 3rd Airborne Beekeepers are the most feared regiment in the Goulagistanniean military. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Goulagistannie's national animal is the citizen, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is None.

Goulagistannie is ranked 6,495^th in the world and 15^th in Chicken overlords for Most Patriotic, with 73.08 flags saluted per person per day.