The Free Land of Garfagnana is a huge, genial nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, enslaved workforce, and frequent executions. The cynical, devout population of 481 million Garfagnini are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Castelnuovo di Garfagnana. The average income tax rate is 70.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Garfagnino economy, worth 18.6 trillion Palancas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Cheese Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 38,568 Palancas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, government expenses are beyond compare, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, and the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Garfagnana's national animal is the Vacca Garfagnina, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Garfagnana is ranked 63,666^th in the world and 27^th in Palatine for Safest, scoring 97.47 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.