The Awful Cats of Effuendie is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Circlepuller with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 8.23 billion Effuendieans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Education, with Environment and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nürburg. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Effuendiean economy, worth a remarkable 1,580 trillion tails a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 192,016 tails, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

History classes are mandatory for students, scavengers with burlap sacks and shovels skulk around graveyards, local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities, and schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Effuendie's national animal is the Norwegian Forest cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Effuendie is ranked 285,654^th in the world and 91^st in 4chan for Safest, scoring 2.43 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.