The Armed Republic of Chelonya is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The cynical population of 211 million Chelonyans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 29.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Chelonyan economy, worth 12.6 trillion Unitaries a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 59,520 Unitaries, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms, children's toy tractors have been seized as state property, the World Armed Republic Games have been won again by Chelonya as no other country cares enough to compete, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chelonya's national animal is the Capuchin Bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Chelonya is ranked 127,493^rd in the world and 492^nd in Concord for Safest, scoring 69.38 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.