The Queendom of Celdonie is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Chancellor Carla Von Hesse PCP with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 32.961 billion Celdonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bagatelle. The average income tax rate is 70.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celdonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,547 trillion Celdo ₵s a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 107,614 Celdo ₵s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit, people accuse the government of being in bed with Big Safety, police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly, and there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celdonie's national animal is the Polar Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Celdonie is ranked 7,865^th in the world and 16^th in Commonwealth of Liberty for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 56.53 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.