The Kingdom of Belgophia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by King owen the beast with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 1.689 billion Belgophians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malyrov. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Belgophian economy, worth 163 trillion zepines a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 96,835 zepines, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, foreign planes and migratory birds are shot down as spies, Belgophian doors require a Ph.D. to open, and for 25 zepines tourists can gawk at the site of national tragedy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Belgophia's national animal is the Garuda, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Belgophia is ranked 28,732^nd in the world and 1,673^rd in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 82 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.