The Somewhat Insane Country of Bearslavania is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by grand ursus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 5.419 billion Bearslavanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of bearland. The average income tax rate is 87.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Bearslavanian economy, worth 553 trillion Berries a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 102,090 Berries, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

"Grand ursus got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, gigantic marble churches take up almost half the land area of small villages, and teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bearslavania's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bearniness.

Bearslavania is ranked 279,998^th in the world and 10,553^rd in Balder for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -11.49 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.