The Great Empire of Asinland is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Imperator Asinarath with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, cynical population of 23.217 billion Asinlandiar are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chaosphere. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Asinlandian economy, worth a remarkable 4,649 trillion asis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 200,260 asis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Imperator Asinarath spends weekends doing the laundry of foreign leaders, interest in globalism never flags, people have become comfortably numb, and polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asinland's national animal is the knork, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Chaos.

Asinland is ranked 1,944^th in the world and 74^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 269 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.