The United States of Artiminzana is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, renowned for its public floggings, daily referendums, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 19.53 billion Artiminzanans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kalidonsn. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Artiminzanan economy, worth a remarkable 1,677 trillion Artimins a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 85,912 Artimins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The seats at the back of the parliament are reserved for indigenous ministers, Leader can cry on demand, immigrants who don't like the taste of Artiminzanan Turnip Chips are immediately deported, and dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Artiminzana's national animal is the Zaneorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Artiminzana is ranked 12,350^th in the world and 694^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 109 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.