The United States of Aarde is a huge, safe nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 322 million Aardens are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 66.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Aarden economy, worth 11.1 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 34,625 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Immigrant herding has become a national pastime, Leader can cry on demand, Aardens incessantly needle their doctors for relief, and billions of Dollars are being poured into a space program. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aarde's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Aarde is ranked 60,299^th in the world and 1,902^nd in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 51.48 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.